Facilitator Masterclass Training 10

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  How To Run A Debrief

  Description:  In this training you will learn how to change the hearts and minds of your participants during the “Debrief”, perhaps the most important part of your transformational workshop or training. You’ll learn how to use basic and advanced reframes to take a participant from almost any starting point to a powerful breakthrough. Once you master this toolset, you’ll look forward to dissenting opinions and challengers in your workshops and trainings, because they will give you a chance to demonstrate your ability to have transformational dialog.

Masterclass Summary

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  Click the audio below to listen to the masterclass or download it to your device from the DOWNLOADS section below so you can listen on the go.  Each training contains Implementation Exercises and Reflection Questions to help you put this material into practice.  You’ll find the Transcript, Exercises, and Worksheets below.

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  Reframes
  

  “melting ice” – flexibility and mobility of thinking is more important than agreement. If you create a position, you’ll get opposition. If your reframes are guided by love, wisdom and truth, then given enough flexibility of thinking – your participants will always find their way there.

  Universal Qualifiers

  Only “feel” true when you have a partial view

  Definitions

  Overt = “is” “means”

  Covert = “He told me he needed space, but I told him I wasn’t going to be ignored like that.” (needing space = ignored)

  (or) “They didn’t want what we are selling”

  (reason for not buying = not wanting.. vs. other possibilities like poor salesmanship)

  You can sometimes say “doesn’t mean”, but it’s easier to say “may not mean or doesn’t necessarily mean” You are safe deconstructing any definition, because all definitions are inherently false. They serve only to prop up stories and narratives. They are either beneficial (or not) depending on context and intent, but are not inherently true. Therefore if you find an definition that’s in the way of a person getting what they want, you are safe to dismantle it, which can be done simply by melting the ice around it…using some of the following techniques.

  Sleight Of Mouth

  Using the same words that someone used, but in a different configuration to imply a slightly different meaning. Often, because of the recognition of the words, it can feel to the person that you are in agreement, even though you’ve slightly reframed their statement.

  “My nervous system just can’t handle this stupid test”

  “When you are faced with a situation and you start to feel stupid, that really tests your nervous system, doesn’t it?”

  “There’s no way I could ever apologize to that monster, after the ways he torchured me”

  “Well, I don’t want you to torture yourself – it sounds like that would be a monster apology, maybe you want to start with something smaller?”

  Content Reframe

  Someone says “I want to reach the Goal” and you say “You want to reach our Common Goal”

  Someone says “I can’t” and you say, “So you found it difficult?”

  Someone says “They can’t be trusted” and you say “It sounds like you’ve got a lot of evidence to support your decision not to trust them”

  Someone says “I’m never going back” and you say “So you *really* don’t want to go back”

  Concentric Frames

  Situation: A school board wanted to reduce parental involvement in the school board and take some parents off the board and replace them with professional educators. The parents obviously didn’t like this idea. I was called in to make a presentation to the parents (about 300 in the room) and sell the idea. I used “concentric frames” to reach agreement.

  Start with the largest frame that EVERYONE can agree with. Then reduce the frame slightly, while maintaining agreement. Repeat this until your point of view is the only one permitted by the frame, but without ever making a “jump” too big for people to follow you.

  Biggest Frame: We all want the best education possible for the kids, in the environment most conducive for their development, right? (largest because no one can disagree)

  Slightly Smaller Frame: But we don’t have infinite resources. There’s only so much Time and Money available for us to put to use toward our common goal?  (smaller because it might be possible to disagree with how much time and money there is to spend)

  Slightly Smaller Frame: That means we have to make some hard choices about how to spend that time and money most effectively.

  Slightly Smaller Frame: I think the choices are hard for 2 reasons. One, often it can appear that one person or group might be advantaged by a choice, while another person or group might be disadvantaged. It’s always a hard choice to make when 2 people you care about equally cannot receive equal treatment or benefit in the immediate term.

  Slightly Smaller Frame: The second reason the choices are hard is that every choice we make has both immediate impact and longer term implications – and often those long term benefits or consequences can be huge – and counter-intuitive.  

  Slightly Smaller Frame: That’s how other schools have ended up with declining enrollment, declining quality of education, declining school safety, or in some cases have been forced to close their doors. Not because of a single choice, but because the cumulative effect of insufficient wisdom and attention on the long term implications of each decision.

  Slightly Smaller Frame: As you know – it’s the job of the school board to make these decisions when it comes to matters of budget, policy, staff, and curriculum.

  Slightly Smaller Frame: Given our commitment to the kids, we want to do the best we can to make sure our school board has the time, energy, and wisdom to make the best choices – not only in the immediate term but especially for the long term – where the kinds of insights that come from professional experience are so valuable and often not apparent. (i also chose this wording to indicate “not a parent” as in not a parent of a student.)

  Slightly Smaller Frame: We now have the opportunity to attract some experts in the field to join our board – and enhance the culture of our current board (rich with enthusiasm and dedication) into one that also is deep in professional expertise.

  Smallest Frame: To do this, we’d like to ask you parents to take on a slightly different role in the future. Where your primary job will be to make sure the board is fully informed about your experience, concerns, hopes, and ideas. To make sure that the school values we all subscribe to carry into the home and into the many many extracurricular activities that you organize. And to leave the school’s financial, policy, staff, and curriculum decisions to the newly enhanced board – allow it the freedom to take full advantage of the experience and expertise we have on hand to do what’s best for all of – especially the children.

  Interlocking Frames

  Each phrase should acknowledge A PART of what they’ve said, and introduce a NEW PART that is closer to the belief or place you’d like them to be. If you jump to the end you get “booted”.

  If you are trying to get from A to B…

  Structurally, they say “A” you say “Partly A, but also in some ways B, right?” They say “Right, partly B, because of C”.  Then you say, “Well, regardless of C or not, we’re really talking about B right?” And they say “Right, B”  

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  Breakthroughs

  MUST HAVE ALL 4 PARTS – relate to the 4 aspects of the clear story but are they have slightly different elements.

  4 parts

  1. the pain of doing the “wrong” way (or the impact on others) (the inverse of “then you’ll get)
  2. a new belief that both explains the old behavior and gives access to new behavior (the “but really”)
  3. specific actions that they can take to generate a different experience (the “if you just”)
  4. “road signs” or signals they can notice that will remind them to take a different path as a result of the breakthrough.

   

  When forming a breakthrough with someone – make sure to use the same clear story you’ve been teaching to inform the 4 parts of the breakthrough – otherwise they and the room will get very confused.

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  Implementation Exercises

  The key to getting value from any endeavor resides in your willingness to integrate what you are learning and implement it in your life.  All new thought and new ideas are useless unless we act upon them.  The same is true in this course.

  If your goal is to be the kind of person that catalyzes change for others it will require you to step just outside of what’s known and what’s comfortable to act as you breathe and accept the challenges that lie before you.

  “You can’t cross a sea by merely staring into the water.” — Rabindranath Tagore

  As you begin to create your content for a group facilitated experience, you’ll need to begin with determining which clear story you plan on presenting and then adding engaging and transformational elements to that clear story. Complete the exercises below to create your content for a group facilitation.  If you are using RECODE content to become a RECODE FACILITATOR then much of this work is done for you and it’s a matter of learning and practicing it.  You’ll find that information in the RECODE WORKBOOK.

  Please note as a professional if you end up using our RECODE content in your non RECODE events please attribute us and this program.  Do not replicate our material without attribution.

  1) Reframe Exercise: Think about an area of your life where you feel frustration. Write down a short paragraph describing your experience. Now circle all the words and phrases that seem “fixed” or “solid” (good or bad). Pay special attention to words like “all” “never” “none” and “always”. Also notice definitions, and phrases like “this is ____” or “that is not ____”.

  Now, removing yourself from the situation as much as you can, go to work on writing down reframes for each of the words and phrases that you circled.

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  Self Reflections

  Reflections exercises are one or more questions that we’d like you to be in deep consideration of for the entire week.  These are meant to be shared with your family, friends, and community so that they can offer you a more complete 360 view of yourself, your identity, and your reality.

  Everyone has blind spots.  These are areas where we are less developed that are outside our view.  Getting reflections will point out things that you might not ever know yourself.

  In addition, the more you consider these reflection questions the more likely you’ll be able to break through your current level of thinking and use the exercises to leap frog into a new level of consciousness.

   Here is this weeks self reflection question.

  1) Think about a situation where you don’t have what you want. How has the way you have “framed” yourself and others in that situation determined your experience?

  2) Think about a situation where you had exactly the experience you want. How has the way you’ve “framed” yourself and others in that situation determined your experience?

  What do you notice about the difference in framing? What happens when you apply the same kind of framing from the second situation to the first situation?